Here it is! My giant lobster shaped loaf of bread!
I suppose everyone has moments of temporary insanity, and my last moment ended up with me purchasing this delicious giant freshly-baked loaf of bread shaped like a lobster... or a giant pill bug, or a hissing cockroach or whatever you imagine it to be. It was my birthday gift to myself, and I'm ashamed to say, I probably spent entirely too much on it. I'm usually so careful about spending money, especially on food. I clip coupons, and base my meals on what's on sale at Winco. But somehow I ended up spending nearly a quarter of my food budget on a single loaf of bread. I guess I just need to consider it my birthday cake... Yeah, it's like buying myself a really nice birthday cake.
Whenever I go to Best Baguette on 82nd and Powell, I always "ooh" and "ah" at their shelf of artisan shaped breads. They have fish shaped loafs, and monkey shaped loafs, clown shaped loafs, and crab shaped loafs, turtle shaped loafs, and even an angry Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shaped loaf, but the one that I have always admired most, was the lobster loaf. It is a giant loaf of bread artfully shaped to represent a giant sea dwelling crustacean. But really who needs a giant loaf of lobster bread? No one. With French bread being about a dollar at Safeway, I simply never took the time to even ask about them.
Well, I usually like to do something unusual, possibly something I've never done before on my birthday, and let's face it, I'm getting old and running out of ideas... But then I thought of it, the lobster loaf! It will be a perfect birthday treat, and I've never eaten a giant loaf of bread shaped like a lobster before.
So off I went to pick one up. I marched up to the counter, pointed to the bread and said, "I'd like a lobster loaf please." The lady behind the counter look at me as if I were a lobster... In a very confused voice she explained that those were "display only." Well, that would explain the considerable amount of dust on them, but it didn't really dawn on my that they wouldn't just have baskets of lobster loafs made up in the back. I got the impression they had never actually sold a lobster shaped loaf of bread before. But she was very nice and she did let me special order one. Only I think I confused her even more by saying I didn't need it by an certain time, whenever it was ready would be fine. And after figuring out a price, which I think they made up, I headed on my way quite pleased with the prospect of a lobster loaf of my very own in a couple of days.
When I got home I realized it my have been a momentary lapse of my better judgment to spend that much on a loaf of bread. However, I suppose it's the out of the ordinary things we remember most in life. And my lobster loaf is certainly an extraordinary loaf of bread.
I think they were just as excited to have me pick up my lobster loaf of bread as I was to pick it up. It seemed everyone who worked there was up front looking, smiling and pointing at "the girl who bought the lobster loaf." You could see the look of pride in their faces as they showed my their freshly-baked artisan bread shaped like a giant lobster. It took at least six of them to box it up and everyone wanted a hand in it. They even threw in a couple of mini-loafs for me.
And now here I am, with my tasty, delicious loaf of bread toasted with some spinach dip for lunch, even though I was very sad to slice it up.